Slow, Slow, Slick Slick Slow T-Shirt

In the world’s first Snailbiting sporting event, excitement moves at a snail’s pace—literally. Spectators armed with magnifying glasses gather to watch Gary, the slowest snail in snail racing history, make his epic debut. Commentators hilariously exaggerate every move: ‘Look at that foot stretch!’ they cry as Gary advances a centimeter. Fans bite their nails, though more from impatience than suspense. Vendors sell snacks that disappear quicker than any action on the track. When Gary finally crosses the finish line—two hours later—his triumphant antennae wave is met with wild applause. In slow motion glory, Gary proves that even the slowest racers can snail it.